iTS tHE eND oF tHE wORLD aS wE kNOW iT
by Pat2Trivia4Me
Summary: ONE SHOT. Frasier has been dating Sylvia for a few weeks now and thinks that it's time for her to meet the family. God help them all.
iT'S tHE eND oF tHE wORLD aS wE kNOW iT by Patrick Councilor

Frasier was delighted with the way things were going with Sylvia and decided to take the next big step with her. Now that they had finished their meal at Le Pied du Cochon, he leaned over toward her. He looked into her blue eyes and appreciated the way her long blonde hair brought out their brightness. "Sylvia, we've been dating for over a week now and think things are going pretty well."

"Why yes." She smiled back at him.

"I have something I would like to ask you."

"Certainly."

"I hope you don't find this is too overzealous, but would you like to meet my family?"

"Oh my God, you're married."

"No, No – I'm not married. I meant, would you care to meet my father, my brother and his wife."

"OH! Oh my, you almost gave me a heart attack."

"I'm sorry."

"No, I'm sorry. And yes, I would be delighted to meet with your family."

"Oh wonderful. What do you say we drive right over to my brother's house first and then go over to my place? My father lives with me."

"Alright, that sounds great."

"Remarkable." He waved down the waiter for the check and to hand him his valet ticket. Soon, they were in his BMW heading for the Montana. "My brother hasn't been married long. His name is Niles and he's married to Daphne. She is a wonderful person. She has been a friend of the family for about seven years before she started dating my brother."

"They sound charming."

"Niles is also a successful and eminent psychiatrist. Daphne is a health care worker. That's how they met. She was the health care provider for my father… whom you'll meet later tonight with is dog Eddie. Now Eddie likes to stare, but he only does that to… _annoy the hell out of you_."

"Frasier, it's okay. You don't need to give me the complete rundown."

"Oh… sorry."

"Shouldn't we call and let them know we're coming?" she asked politely.

"Oh no. They love surprises."

They arrived at the Montana and took the elevator up. As they made their way down the hallway toward Niles and Daphne's apartment, they found Niles outside beating on the door.

"If you're going to lock me out of the apartment, the least you could do is give me my keys so I at least have access to my car!" Niles yelled into the door.

Frasier and Sylvia stopped. What on God's green earth were they walking into? Should they covertly go back the way they came before Niles noticed them there?

"That's it!" Niles continued his rant. "I want you out. This is _MY_ apartment and I can go down and get a spare key if I need to, but you need to collect your things and leave." He took a deep breath. "AND DON'T BOTHER COMING BACK!"

His neighbor came out into the hall and looked at him.

"I'm terribly sorry about this. I'll try to get this under control as soon as possible," he assured his neighbor who went back inside his own apartment.

Frasier couldn't believe his ears. Niles never spoke to Daphne like that. They were always the model couple. Should he intervene?

Niles was getting ready to say something else when the door quickly opened, a bundle of clothes flew out, hitting him in the face, and then the door closed again. Niles tried the door, but it was locked again. "That's it. Will you let me in so we can settle this like adults? I have a reputation in this building." He started picking up his clothes that lay in the hallway.

He could hear sobbing on the other side of the door.

Niles moved closer to the door. "Oh… I'm… I'm sorry. Please don't cry. Please, we can talk this out."

" _ **I would certainly hope so**_." Frasier stepped forward. " _I am appalled at the way you are speaking to your wife_."

Niles looked his way. "What?!"

"I brought my girlfriend over to meet the perfect couple and you both are acting like this."

"Frasier."

"Don't 'Frasier' me. We're just in time to see you thrown out. It's too bad I didn't come a little earlier with lawn chairs. It would have save us the cost of admission of entertainment of an opera later in the evening. I may have well introduced you to Sylvia as my crazy little brother."

"Frasier, that's not Daphne in there."

"What? Oh right, someone else is throwing you out of your own apartment," he said sarcastically.

"Seriously. Her name is Luca. She's a maid that we hired and obviously things are not working out."

"Oh?"

"Yes, and how could you think that I would fight with Daphne like that?"

"A maid you say?"

"Yes, her name is Luca… Luca Wacha."

Frasier gave him "the look".

"What?" Niles question his expression.

"You expect me to believe that?"

"I'm not 'expecting' anything. It's the truth."

"You've hired a maid named Luca Wacha?"

"Yes, but only on a trial basis."

"Luca Wacha the maid?"

"Certainly."

"If that's not a made up name."

Niles' voice dropped. "It is _**not made up**_."

"Niles, listen to it. Luca Wacha the maid. Look at whatcha made. Come on Niles."

"That's just a terrible coincidence."

"It's terrible alright. And I suppose it's a coincidence that 'this maid' only threw _**your**_ clothes into the hall at you?"

"That's what…"

"What's going on?" a voice came from behind them.

The three of them turned to see Daphne standing there, who had come up the hallway with a bag of groceries in hand.

Niles responded. "Luca finally snapped when I asked her to put a half of a lemon in with the bleach for the whites."

Frasier stood there in silence with his mouth wide open.

Niles spoke up, "Sylvia, this is my wife Daphne and you already know my crazy big brother."


End file.
